Hey Ya'll, hope you guys are doing great. So as i was making my usual rounds through blogville and I came accross a new blog (My Own Thing). The guys had a post about his Dad and the dynamics of some naija dads, the post got me thinking of my own relationship with my dad. To be honest, I do not have a relationship with him , it sounds kinda sad, but that was what my dad chose at that time.
My dad left us when i was either 5 or 6, I still kinda remember some things about him like him yelling and getting mad for no apparent reason. Anyways he supposedly left us cos he and my Mum had an argument and my Mum refused apologise(how STUPID right?). After he left we did not hear from until i turned 16.
My Mum did an AMAZING job raising us all by herself. She made sure we did'nt lack anything, we all went to private schools, even in boarding school i had like 3sets of provisions(those that attended boarding school knows what i'm talking about) lol..lol. The only time i missed my dad was whenever we would have school functions that required us to invite our dads. Even then my Uncles would represent me, but it was not the same. I don't think i missed him as a person ..I just missed a relationship with him. I remember other kids saying crap about me not having a dad, even some adults saying shit like o it was my Mum's fault, she caused him to leave or that she was having an affair(dat one really bothered me alot)....yadi..yadi..yah
Fastforward years and years later...we got a call from my dad asking us how we were and wondering if we needed anything(shocker). My Mum told us it was OK to have a relationship with him but she did not want anything to do with him. I did not feel comfortable chatting with him, i remember the first time i saw him..it was the weirdest feeling ever, i could not even hug him or look into his eyes. The worst part of the meeting was that he did not even apologise for abandoning us.
Till this day, I don't think i have really forgiven him. we talk on the phone sometimes bit i don't want to let him in my life because i am afraid of him hurting me again. Do you guys think i'm being selfish? or just protective of my feeling? Is a relationship with him worth it?
Relentless
3 years ago
5 comments:
It's worth it - relationship with him. I think YES. The reason I said because the this quote "Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]."
Pray about it and decide to forgive him - you'll see how much rewarding and fulfilling you'll get - trust me! I miss my dad but I thank God he's my dad because I won't exchange him for any one - even with his faults and weakness! Wish you all the best in this journey of life!
i think you can let him in to an extent and still protect ur heart from being hurt. Once you let go- that is forgive him- u will feel a burden lifted off ur shoulders. It might not necessarily be literally a burden lifted off ur shoulders but there will be something different. Pray that the Lord will show u how to forgive him, this is in order for "you move along".
Hope you find the peace you seek soon!
Thanks for visiting my blog http://wumikay.blogspot.com
@MyOwnThING thanks alot, I'm praying for the strenght to love him as my dad. I know it will happen soon. Thanks for stopping.
@Wumi thanks gurl, i know forgiveness is really the key. I think i have forgiven him, its just so hard to forget. Thanks Sweet!
you went through a lot and i can see why you dont want to get close to him!but you know what...this maybe your chance to start all over again with him..just give it a chance and see how it goes........also PRAY!!!
honestly, I wouldn't blame you!
this situation is very though, confused myself :s
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